


tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us

by outoftheam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 02:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outoftheam/pseuds/outoftheam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>once upon a time there were five boys who grew up a little bit too quickly</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us

 

so it goes like this, they’re on top of the world, everyone knows who they are, and their music is number one worldwide and they have a new album about to come out and everything’s perfect. they’ve just finished their worldwide tour and everything was bright lights and sold out crowds, smiling boys with the world right under their feet. and maybe the second album will be their last, but who knows yet because everything is running so smoothly right now and that’s all that matters.

liam and danielle are to be engaged any day now because they are just so in love and nothing could rip them apart. liam is still daddy direction, and maybe he slips in a few drinks now and them – but at least he can hold his liquor.

and there’s niall and for him everything’s _perfect_ and his life is great and he’s being flown all around the world every day but at least he’s with his best friends and that’s all that matter, right? because this is his dream and he’s fucking living it.

on the outside zayn looks good, and he looks _really good_. so maybe if that isn’t the truth deep down at least he created a life for himself where things seem perfect. and maybe then in another life he could be with who really wanted, but there’s no such things as happy ending, right? because this isn’t a box office film remember.

and there’s harry and louis, and that don’t have their separate stories, because how could they? so they started in a dim lit bathroom with an introduction and a photo and then it turned into a hug with louis wrapped tightly around harry and then it bounded into a big house which felt smaller as the weeks passed and then it was bright lights and their stomachs turning upside down and then came to a halt with an apartment with a window over the city and sleeping beneath starlit skies.

their lives were intertwined with each other, so if one falls they all do.

and i guess that’s how it ended

it was new york, which meant fast moving bodies moving through vivid lights with futures beaming all around them, and it was cold and they were tired, and so maybe louis had a bit too much to drink

and maybe he was homesick, and harry felt like home, more than any of the other boys. but then harry wasn’t there, he was out being a popstar and louis felt like there were cracks in his skin and he was breaking because he needed to told that everything was going to be okay.

liam was fighting with danielle and this was never going to end well when they were separated by half the world and zayn didn’t want to be reminded of the look but you can’t touch rule as he sat by liam and talked and talked about nothing but at the same time his words echoed all of their problems.

somehow niall picked them all up and in two weeks they were back at home and louis let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding as he curled into his couch with harry trailing his fingers down his leg.

_we can’t stay like this forever_

the words danced between them, but never said out loud.

they won awards, they released a new album they went all over the world again and there smiles weren’t fake this time.

they met new people, more amazing people and everywhere the people were screaming their names and _gosh_ , that still weren’t used to this. they stayed in fancy hotels and went to dinner at fancy restaurants, which sometimes felt like a bit too much.

harry got tattoos, which held his memories and kept him strong as another girl was cradling his arm, but still it didn’t feel right, and he knew why but was to stubborn to say it aloud.

and then it went bad again

it was a war of words and the sound of things being thrown and smashed and it ended in an empty bedroom in harry and louis old apartment. it stretched out through silence and heavy hearts and damp eyes.

harry found a new house, and he felt good about the change until a sunday morning when he arrived home at three am and the lights were out and it was cold and suddenly he was alone.

but somehow they saved themselves again and they promised more things in the dead of the night as the five of them lay curled up in front of the couch. they choose to ignore the fact that their lights were burning out

and things were okay again, and louis could almost touch the skies when he jumped with excitement as they laughed and smiled and his skin felt warm and undamaged.

zayn lays awake the night before they’re about to be shipped over to america for their tour and he tried to think of ways he could of change things, picking out the parts when things were okay and stitching them together to create a world where he was loved back.

there’s more interviews and the answers are all the same, and then like rain on a summers day they’re asked how much longer are they are going to be together for, light fingertips touch the base of harry’s spine and he knows its louis.

liam answsers – of course he does. “even if one day we break up as a band, there’s no way that we wouldn’t still be best friends and spend our time together.”

liam feels wrong saying it, because he knows it’s not true, but as he looks sideways at harry who has his bottom lip between his teeth, his hands locked together like a vice and he knows he did the right thing lying like he did.

so that night they lay in their beds, only a wall separating them, listening to the cars rushing around the city below them wishing they had someone to hold them as the morning crept closer, their minds troubled by the emptiness.

they keep moving, and yeah, it’s really tough being the biggest boyband in the world as they push their way through blinding lights and shouting voices and they want to yell and shout. but they can’t, because that would make a _scene_ and then they’d really be in trouble.

they get a break to see their family and it’s all emotion and kisses and hugs, which no one wants to end. but after a week they realise they need each other more than anything so they meet back in london.

when they see each other again its knowing looks and silent ‘i fucking love you guys more than anything’.

they’re sitting at a café and having what louis keeps calling ‘brunch’ and niall said a joke which made them all double over as they clung to each other laughing, louis looks across the table at harry and his breath stutters. harry’s eyes are on him with dimples on his cheeks and a smile so bright and louis thinks that this moment could be one of his favourites.

it hits him like a train, and he knows that there’s no way he’s finding a way out of this and he doesn’t care. the younger boy reaches over and touches louis arm and he feels a new warmth spread beneath his skin and it scares him more than anything in the world knowing he would do anything for harry.

that night they all stay at harry’s new house and watch one of those horror movies that are way too overrated and somehow that night louis and harry find themselves curled together in harry’s bed, warm and at ease

and like taking a breath their lips touched and it was soft and it pulled at louis chest and he knew this was it, this was the moment when everything would change _and fuck_ he could feel the anxiety creeping up on him

and the words louis want so dearly to say get caught in his throat and then suddenly it’s too late, the moments passed.

it doesn’t change. louis keeps looking, keeps hoping that at any minute harry will rush over and admit that all this time he loved him.

but they return to how it was before, like that day never existed and louis start to believe that maybe something so perfect like that could never actually of happened and some nights he stays up he imagine a life when they weren’t in xfactor and he met harry at a pub in london, hair ruffled and that crooked smile on his face.

they’re in london after returning from australia, and it’s time to start getting the third album ready, and the thought makes zayn stomach drop.

which doesn’t even make sense, because he loves this, he _loves_ his job, he really does.

but as they sit in the studio at six in the moring, zayn looks across at liam who’s leaning back starring at the celling and he needs to liam to say something like ‘this is what we do, we’re a band, this is our job, don’t you remember how fun it was last time?’

liam knows everything is not ok, the lines near everyone’s eyes from lack of sleep are growing deeper. the spark in their eyes is gone, they all know and fuck he really doesn’t want to stop now.

they push on, they record new songs, and promote new singles and they ignore the fact that harry drinks too much and louis doesn’t sleep at night niall just really fucking wants to go home.

it almost christmas, which means louis birthday, and harry wants to throw him a party like last year but then he’s invited to new york and this seems like an easy way out, so he takes it. he arrives at a hotel which smells like cigarettes and air freshener and the bed sheets are too white and too clean and the cars below keep him awake and he never asked for this fucking pain.

and niall the one who has to tell louis that harry’s on the other side of the world, and it hurts more than anything watching louis face fall and his body recoil away. and then it’s past mignight and everyone’s left a mess and an empty feeling in louis apartment, the effect of his drinking are wearing off.

but then there’s a knock on the door and who the fuck would bother him at this hour. louis opens the door and he’s there

with a coat covering his lanky body and hair windswept and eyes glassy and broken and pleading. and louis want to crumble to the ground but there’s strong arms around his waist digging into his skin and lips are on his tying to say a million things, but for the most part ‘sorry’ and ‘please don’t say i fucked this up’. they’re a tangled of limbs, skin on fire, the air around them is almost suffocating as they make their way to the bedroom. both nervous and shaking and confused and its louis pressed into the mattress as harry hovers above him, eyes wide and alive.

and after they lay next to each other hands twisted together as harry presses his lips to every part of louis body that he can reach, ‘i’m so so sorry,” harry whispers in the dark.

and so zayn nearly breaks in half when harry and louis sit them all down one day and tell them that they’re ‘sort of’ together and god why didn’t things work out for him as well. everyone smiles and says everything’s going to be ok, and harry’s beaming like a child with his hands around louis’.

they keep it a secret; they had to, not even the management knews, not even their family. and it stays that way, the secret touches and stolen glances go unnoticed. but then its harry birthday and they go out to celebrate and harry was just so happy that they were still together as a group that he kissed louis right in the middle of the club and as liam watches he makes a wish for everything to be ok.

none of them know which day will be their last or which concert will be the last one, now looking back niall wishes he took in each concert more than he did. and remember more faces and took the time to experience each city he visited.

and it’s a train wreck, and it plastered on every paper and the photos blurry but you can see it’s them and niall wants to scream because they could have made it through this.

and they stay locked inside their four walls as people try to fix things like doctors try to put back a broken body when it’s been ripped apart and scattered everywhere. and harry has tears on his cheeks as he whispers apologies through the night, and they stop yelling so that they can hold each other knowing this may be the last fucking time they get too.

suddenly it’s a month later and the fuss has died down but making music together doesn’t bring smiles to their faces anymore and harry starts getting nervous about being apart from the other boys and shouts at anyone and everyone to fix things.

and everyone is just so stressed that they take it out on each other and louis and harry fight about nothing and everything and things fall apart. liam didn’t want it to end this way. they were supposed to end with a final tour and be happy and end up with the person they loved as they relaxed for the rest of their days.

and harry and louis end with an explosion of words and tears and time stops. it takes all the kings horses and the kings men to finally admit that one direction were finished.

there was an announcement and they were shoved all onto a small couch just like so many times before with lights and cameras in their faces and a woman in a tight dress asked them questions and then they left in their cars and went their separate ways and it felt like stars had gone out.

**Author's Note:**

> yep this is the first thing i have ever written, so if you read this and enjoyed it, i am very happy. thank you.


End file.
